When I spoke about Indian Giving last week I omitted a detail I later realised upon one of my reflective moments..
I asked for the one item back which was possibly childish and got them all.. definitely childish
The thing is I think I sort of asked for the hurt to see how far that person that I would still have welcomed back in my life would go. Well she answered in no uncertain terms that she truly did not give an iota about me or my feelings. No note, not even one telling me where to go.
I had to hold myself back from being super bitchy and listing the things that had been forgotten, possibly they were in use but whatever the reason I refused to lower myself to such a) nasty and b) pathetic behaviour
It has been quite cleansing. I can walk away thinking why would I even want to fight for that?
It has hurt and it still hurts but I drive past her house and my kids ask after the family and I say sorry sweethearts she is not my friend anymore. They say ‘why?’ I say ‘she just doesn’t like Mummy, she says I don’t make her feel good’. I could go a different route but why? I am not lying to my kids, I am not shying away.. instead I welcome the pain as it is the only way to heal.
Her telling me I was not a good enough friend just makes me want to be a better on to all my others. I choose to live my life these days by find the silver linings, and if facing some pain leads to that then it is the way I will go about it.
Life is too short to dwell on what does not make you feel good..
Do you face your pain or run a mile?