Friday, 27 April 2012

When did I get like this?..

19 comments

I am so disappointed in myself of late.. I have been analysing it all and trying to work out where I went wrong to correct it. Thing is it all happened when I had my gorgeous children.
 
Before the kids I was on top of birthdays, I remembered them all and bought presents 3 months in advance.
Before the kids I loved to cook.
Before the kids I could do a 2 hr run and back it up with a workout again in the afternoon.
Before the kids I was fierce and strong.
Before the kids I worked and still managed to play..

Now don't get me wrong I love my kids to bits and I am NOT giving them up for anything but I am crap....

I forget birthdays until the day they are happening (if it is not someone I see or chat to daily).
I "sustain" my husband, I don't even call it feeding him as he just gets something plonked in front of him at night.
I manage to exercise 3/4 times a week but it leaves me so tired I am either cranky with the kids later or just let them eat junk so they will stop the noise.
I am an emotional weiner, I get upset over nothing and..
I never have time to even window shop between work, house and chores.


Why did I get like this? Surely I can change it now it is clear to me? Is it just a mother thing, how are children so time consuming? Tell me you feel the same.. *or of not lie to me and tell me you know lots of others that do*


19 comments:

  1. Oh beautiful girl. I think it is just that you are really hard on yourself. I tick all the same boxes as you above, but I just accept that I am not superwoman and can only do the best I can do.

    You're not just a mum and a wife and a friend and all that. You are also the owner of a start up - and that is very, very hard work. Instead of thinking about what you USED to be able to do, congratulate yourself for what you are achieving right now :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are right lovely and I am proud of what I am doing.. It is so true.. I do reckon I should be in my blue pants with shiny bracelets and it doesnt suit me, lol

      I think I am just frustrated by how it effects others.. the birthdays has really hurt a few feelings and cranky Mum because she is tired is not fair on them...yaddha, yaddha. I am too tough on me.. I'll stop. Thanks for caring xx

      Delete
  2. You just get more thinly spread when you have kids... happens to all of us !! Frustrating to not have time to focus on just yourself and your passions...and then those mothers who start doing EVERYTHING for their kids and nothing for themselves leave me guilty when I do take the time to think about me too. A constant struggle... a constant battle.
    But - you would not give up your kids, right ?!
    Just keep trying to do what you love. Won't ever be so perfect again, and that's hard to accept and live with, but what can ye do? Happens to ....MOST of us !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It does doesnt it.. harder and harder in some areas, but easier in others.. swings and roundabouts hey? x

      Delete
  3. Can you now make a list of all the things your kids have taught you? What do you know now that you didn't before?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Betty Harrington27 April 2012 at 17:36

    Well well well, so you are an emotional "WEINER" [german sausage, I think], that should bring a few laughs. I agree with
    Kelly Exeter, you are just toooooooooohard on yourself........I ticked all the boxes a million times over, but did you and your brother grow up to be emotionally broken people just because I yelled at you when I had a bad day......nooooooooo,
    did Pa moan when he got food dumped in front of him instead of some delightful offering nooooooo, ye gods he is still here 37 years later........you are a great mum,wife,daughter and person, its just bloody hard workxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL ,Mum I am not so worried about how the kids turn out but me!!.. nah I am fine but I am a different person and I am still getting used to it.. 5 years later!!

      Delete
  5. You are not alone. I feel like that, and I'm not running a business. Change the perspective lovely, and look at all the things that you ARE achieving. They may not be the things that you did BC, but I bet it's long and accomplished.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are so right Vicky.. I am achieving loads and I need to stop expecting more form myself than I even would of others!! x

      Delete
  6. I completely understand! It does get better trust me and please don't be so hard on yourself. You should read my post earlier this week about mothers who work or work from home. xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am glad to hear it.. right off to read your post x

      Delete
  7. Just seen this post and thought I'd add my bit of support (having had a bad week of it myself!). No, you're definitely not alone. We're all muddling through it feels. I guess we might be those things again in years to come. Everyone keeps saying to me 'enjoy them while they're young and don't focus on what you can't do'. Yes, all very well in theory, except sometimes they're not that enjoyable!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I love this! Not the disappointment or shame in yourself but that I am not the only one! I used to pride myself on sending handmade cards to every friend and family member I have on their birthdays... I haven't sent a single card this year and as far as phone calls go, they are generally a day late! Bad Me!

    Surely now that we recognise we can change?

    Maybe I should get a diary to remind me to look at my diary??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL, I have a bloody diary AND a calendar with them on and I notice it the day after!!.. worth a try though ;)

      Delete
  9. Your not alone believe me! My closets used to look like photo session ready and things were done on a schedule. It seems I was better organized when I had less free time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My wardrobes are still neat and the house is never too bad but I am worn out, .... I need to get my dirty side going on , lol

      Delete
  10. Good on you for having the guts to say what we're all thinking feeling and doubting ourselves for. Motherhood brings out the best and worst in us all, sometimes more of the worst, but it all balances out in the end. You're coping with a huge amount and just managing to keep your kids alive is an accomplishment! You'll get there, but don't beat yourself up too much, we all have days when life before kids is so appealing it hurts. Hope today was a bit brighter. Mx

    ReplyDelete

Leave me a love note why don't you.. it makes me feel oh so spesh ...

Note: only a member of this blog may post a comment.