Thursday, 19 April 2012

Yeah, Yeah, thanks for nothing

9 comments

I got a phone call yesterday from the owner of our childcare. She wanted to know how I planned to manage the fact that my son shouts when he gets frustrated?.. Also how we should manage his pushing along with whether I think he should be back in speech therapy (he was a late talker).

I was heartbroken. I firstly thought WTF has he done today at school? Secondly have I now got a "Spirited Child" on my hands and should I email Em? Thirdly I thought his speech was pretty good these days?... have all my mates been lying to me?.

So the conversation ends with not much resolved other than we will chat with the teachers (who she claimed didn't have any answers).. 2 hours of feeling quite sad that I was raising a bully and I rock up to childcare..

"How has Harrington been?" I ask his favourite teacher and the gorgeous older lady they have there.... Oh he has had a wonderful day, he did throw a toy in annoyance but we just removed it and said "you must not throw toys", that he is communicating so well with the others now that he can chat and that when he gets stroppy it makes them laugh that he is immediately calm after and says of his own accord "sorry" and gives them a hug!!

Its made me paranoid about what I think is just normal boy behaviour. He gives such amazing cuddles, asks after all his favourite people all the time and is so in love with his sister its just beautiful..

Do I crack down hard and curb his real personality growing or do I ignore the owner who, FYI just owns and does not attend the centre, and stop him throwing toys *obviously* but let the rest be?

To cage the young mare, saddled and whipped with reins on him or let him run free, to buck and bolt but come home to a loving stable at night?

9 comments:

  1. Hugs x I would just sleeping dogs lie, he sounds like a cool chappy and growing a confident personality. Its seems we are a nation of over parenting over correcting carers. He will learn in his own time what kind of behaviour is pleasing to others and what doesnt really work. Tell the childcare owner to suck it up!
    Fleur

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  2. Wow, what a lovely phone call to get (yes, sarcasm). If his carers are fine with him, then I would ignore the phone call! They are the ones with him, not the owner.

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  3. I can really sympathize with you. I have a very energetic 3 year old boy. He is non stop all day, running, playing etc. He is a rough player and always has been. He gets a little over excited and hits another child. He also fights back if someone picks on him, if a toy is taken from him etc. I have had so many chats with his teacher. She will say "he hit another child today" and will tell me about it in such a concerning voice, I walk away feeling like my child is a bully. I then talk to his other teacher who has 3 boys (in high school) and she will say "oh he had a good day today, he did hit another child but we told him we don't hit our friends and he said sorry and went on the have a great day .... you know how boys are!"

    It can be so confusing knowing what is their age, what is normal boy behaviour etc. I don't think people realise how rough boys can be and that is does take a lot of work to keep the boy in them tamed.

    But how much should you tame them?

    I love that my son is adventurous, I love that he stands up for what he believes in and I love that he is having fun and learning. I don't want to change that!

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  4. Ooh this is a tough one but it sounds like you are already doing a great job. And Harrison sounds a regular little boy ... not necessarily 'spirited' - just a boy!!

    I agree with Belinda that if his carers think he's fine, then you can politely ignore the owner!!

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  5. I sympathise with you, I am a mother of 4 children under 6. My eldest son was also a late talker and didn't begin until 2 1/2.He showed very similar behaviours to those you have mentioned. I am also a teacher and have spent most of my teaching years with Kindergarten so I can only emphasise the importance of early intervention. Children with early speech issues often go on to have difficulty with early reading skills. Going back to Speech Therapy can only help, they can do some amazing stuff not only with articulation but also with social skills and play therapy. My gorgeous son has been having fortnightly session since he was 2. He is a really well adjusted kid with lots of frineds and is coping well at school. I think a lot of this is due to the amazing help he has had from his speechie. Ignore the owner of the centre and talk to those who are responsible for his care. Don't break his spirit, chanel it in the most positive direction.Love your website and blog. x

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  6. I am sorry to hear that you had to go through that. Most child care centres just try and protect their image and dont really look at the child themselves. but if his teachers are happy with him then dont worry. Boys are boys. I have two and there is a big age gap between them which causes a lot of fights but in the end they always work it out. My older son was a complete terror when he was younger I could not take him anywhere but now he is older he is so different and everyone remarks how quite he is now. unless younger brother bothers him. Talk to your son and get his point of view. Maybe there is a child at the centre that may upset him and that is why he is throughing things or getting upset. My elder son was being bullied at times and his behaviour would be quite bad as a reaction to that. I hope things work out for you.

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  7. I had a similar problem with my youngest. the school Principal told me one day that he was a major behavioural problem in class (1st class) and his teacher was having major difficulties with him. I was at a total loss that my normally placid and sweet boy was acting up, so after worrying about it I made an appointment to see his teacher who expressed surprise and confusion as to why I wanted to see him. After 10 or so minutes of confusion i told him why I was there and he had no problem at all with my son and no idea why I would have been told that. I learnt that I do know my son and to trust my instincts about his behaviour, and to keep the lines of communication open with the people who have direct contact with my kids! Good luck!

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  8. So tough, Tessa. The what-t-dos of parenting do my head in!

    I think boundaries and making sure our children are kind to others is important curbing anger now will certainly teach him some coping skills for later in life - we all need those!

    Speech wise, I'd ask his old SP to re-assess him to see if he needs more assistance.

    x

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